she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I have grass duct taped all over my body
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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