Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
