Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
