It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
