I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
