i jhust puked up my retainher.
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
