do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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