ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
