She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Randomize
