they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
