Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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