I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
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