Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
well, you know. whores of a feather.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
