hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
Randomize
