we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Never underestimate the power of titties
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
