PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
