the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
