eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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