i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Randomize
