Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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