i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
