imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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