Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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