his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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