and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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