nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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