is your mom at the bar?
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
