Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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