did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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