The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
