the condom got lost in my hair
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
