you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
