i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
