i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
