Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
