Kareoke will never be a sober sport
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
