I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
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