That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
