you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You dont lie about slip and slides
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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