Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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