your thong is hanging out like whoa
I think my vagina is haunted
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
