She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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