I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
