420 ftw
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
