do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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