Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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