Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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