Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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