This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
