I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I smell like Dick and happiness
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
