i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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