I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
